What's my tribe?

Do I belong to the "tipping tribe"? (Well, my father is in the tribe of lousy tippers.) The website applebeesamerica.com provides a curious little quiz to find out if you're in this tipping tribe, which is a fancy way of saying swing voters. (Props to digbysblog.blogspot.com for linking to it.) I went and tried to take the quiz, otherwise there wouldn't be any story.

1. You're at the counter of your local convenience store and have an extra dollar in change. You:
Save it for a rainy day
Buy a lottery ticket cause you're feeling lucky

That one's easy. Lotteries are for suckers who can visualize a hundred-to-one chance but not a million to one.

2.At a picnic with friends, you open a cooler full of soft drinks and reach for the:
Dr. Pepper
Sprite or Pepsi

I'd go for the Pepsi if they had it, but the Dr. Pepper if they only had Sprite.

3. You've won the jackpot on a game show and have a choice between two kinds of vehicles. You select the:
Audi
Saab

I don't know how to drive. (I live near a street car line, thank goodness.) My perception of the difference between these two models makes the difference between Democrats and Republicans look big, if only for a moment.

4. A free subscription to one of the following two magazines is offered to you. Which one do you choose?
US News & World Report
magazine
TV Guide

How about neither?

5.You're headed out to buy some groceries. You are most likely to visit:
A superstore like Wal-Mart or large supermarket such as Kroger
Whole Foods or similar organic grocer

They don't have Whole Foods in my area, and I don't know where to find any organic grocers. But it'll be a month of Sundays on February 29th before I buy GROCERIES at Wal-Mart.

6. You're at a cocktail party, and the only choices are gin, bourbon, scotch and vodka. Which liquor do you choose?
Bourbon or Scotch
Gin or vodka

I never drink. (Blame my parents.) I don't even have any idea of the differences between those choices.

7. If we opened your refrigerator, it is more likely that we would find which brand of bottled water:
Ozarka or local brand
Evian or Dannon

Two words: tap water.

8. You're at happy hour and there is a special on domestic beer. Which do you choose?
Coors
Bud

Once again, I know nothing about beer.

9. Which special event would you be more inclined to attend?
Monster Truck Show
Pro Wrestling Match

Life is too short to think about that.

10. If we checked your Internet history, it would more likely show that you had visited:
An auction site, like eBay
A dating site, like Match.com

For once, an answer I'm sure about. Ebay, though I've taken some embarrassing stabs at internet dating.

11. Nothing is on network TV you are interested in, so you click through cable, do you:
Stop on the Discovery Channel
Tune in to Court TV

I don't subscribe to either channel in the first place. (Sucks to be me.)

12. Between the following sporting events, which would you more likely watch?
X Games or college football
U. S. Open Tennis or Major League Soccer

I don't watch sports. I'm not even sure what the X Games are!

It all reminded me of an episode of the '70s sitcom GOOD TIMES I recently saw on DVD. The one where Michael the Militant Midget refused to take an IQ test because it embodied white oppression in asking kids what to pair with a cup when some of them had never seen a saucer, or fitting eight people into a four-room home they couldn't imagine. So his parents went to the geek who graded the tests and gave him the Black IQ Test, and he couldn't tell Malcom X' last name (Little) or what TCB stood for (taking care of business), and his adding machine short-circuited!