Wednesday, April 22, 2020

Youtube musicals

My new time-killing interest is watching stage musicals on Youtube.  You can find whole shows of a high quality there!  I'm interested in stuff like Oliver! and Pacific Overtures and Guys and Dolls.  Yesterday I watched a video of the 2018 Broadway revival of Carousel (actually a preview of the show). 

And today I saw Sam Mendes' famous 1993 Cabaret production with Alan Cumming as the MC.  Powerful ending!  That show seems particularly timely in 2020, with so many people sleepwalking into disaster...

I finally finished The Vertigo Years, which my mind keeps mistitling The Vortex Years!  I've now started reading Walt Whitman's poetry opus Leaves of Grass--I just read a few poems at the start so I could write here that I've started it.

I finished rewatching the second year of Dragon Ball and started the second season of Sailor Moon.  The first third is the Doom Tree arc, with two aliens pretending to be schoolkids Alan and Ann. (They're my favourite second-season villains.) That arc has my personal favourite episode, "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall," where they're putting on a play of Snow White and have to deal with a clown monster!

I've started reading manga online.  Right now I'm reading Candy Candy, a romantic girl's comic from the late '70s about an orphan called Candy White who's hired by a rich family to serve as companion for this nasty sister and brother pair but gets treated as a servant and has to live in the stables, but this boy on a neighbouring estate falls in love with her... It has a certain Cinderella sensibility, and that's just the start of a soap opera spanning decades of her life.  I just found out that forty years ago they made an anime of Anne of Green Gables!

We've finished putting everything in the kitchen, so our dining room is in pre-clutter mode again.

Last weekend was warm, so I walked out to Hillcrest Park. (There were few people there, so I had an easy time keeping social distance.)

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

Post-Easter chocolate

Bulma: "If there's a boat there must be people, and where there's people there's shopping!"--Dragonball

I got off my bum today and went to Shoppers Drug Mart for my annual ritual of buying discounted Easter candy.  I had to wait in a queue to get in, but when I left it was significantly longer.  My favourite stuff is the chocolate-covered marshmallows.

I finished the second year of One Piece. Episodes 85 and 86 are must-see, telling the back story of the anthropomorphized reindeer Chopper.  Now Moira has started watching it!

Now I'm watching the dubbed Dragonball again, six episodes a day.  It's really fun, though I admit a lot of the humour is on the vulgar side. In the storyline I'm now rewatching Son Goku is up against the sinister Red Ribbon Army in a new search for the seven balls, resulting in some funny villains.  Goku climbed into Muscle Tower and met the Frankenstein-like Android #8, who turned out to be a  mild-mannered pacifist he made friends with and dubbed 8er!  That's the sort of thing Luffy often does with prospective enemies on One Piece too. (One Piece artist Eiichiro Oda started out as an assistant on Dragonball, and the earlier show's influence is clear.)

Yes, I am disappointed about Bernie Sanders endorsing Joe Biden.  I think that the best way to stop Trump is by stopping someone as unelectable as Biden from getting the Democratic nomination.  Don't be passive and accept it as a done deal!  And the only chance of preventing Biden's nomination is if enough voters promise not to choose him in November.  It's time for Sanders' movement to outgrow him.

My Twitter account got another three-day freeze after following too many fellow Tweeters!  On Twitter I've seen talk of a general strike, and I think the best time would be after the self-isolation ends and the elite is relying on the economy getting restarted. (I feel like a syndicalist from a century ago...)

I'm almost finished The Vortex Years.  There's a lot of talk about Freud and Nietzsche and the latent violence that presaged the Great War.

Our kitchen is almost finished--we now have all the shelves installed and most of them are filled.  I hope we can go back to eating at the dinner table again soon!

Tuesday, April 07, 2020

OZARK

There still isn't much to talk about.  I'm now in the second year of One Piece, with the gang entering the Grand Line and getting involved with a very sinister organization. (Right now they're at a prehistoric island with dinosaurs, volcanoes and two giants!)

We've almost finished the third season of Ozark on Netflix.  It's hardly morally uplifting, but it's a pretty great show.  These characters aren't admirable, but they're smart and believable!  Janet McTeer has a good role as the drug cartel's icy lawyer.  There's a great quarrel at the start of the sixth episode.

On Twitter I'm always on the lookout for new Tweeters to follow.  On Friday I found a thread devoted to Tweeters with few followers, and I followed a lot of them because they're more likely to follow me back.  I gained almost a hundred followers in one day, and I'm getting closer to a total of 4000!  The catch was that Twitter suspected I was a bought, and suspended my ability to follow for three days, along with my ability to like and retweet other posts. But now I'm back.


I've had to suspend the Meetup events I organize for a month.  I just hope the self-isolation is over by May!  Oh well, Canada's doing better than several places...

It's time to do my taxes!

Monday, March 30, 2020

Back from the dead

Yes, it's been a week since I posted here last, and I do wish I had more to talk about!  Today I suggested we dine on pizza, only to find the corner pizza shop has closed for now because of you-know-what.  Then I went to McDonald's, only to find that you have to place orders through their mobile app!  So we had omelet again.

Brother John's almost finished renovating the kitchen.  All that's left is some shelves and a new counter top. The other day we moved our new refrigerator in there, and our dining room feels less cluttered.

Today my memoir group had a phone conference call where we all recited memoir pieces we'd written.  The subject I chose was anime, and I talked about Sailor Moon.  Too bad I moved the phone away from my mouth at times!

I finished watching the first 47 episodes of One Piece.  The Arlong Park story is great, climaxing in a big four-episode fight with the horrifying fish-men.  Even if you aren't into anime, I highly recommend episodes 35 and 36.  Those episodes show the backstory of Nami the navigator and explain why she's been robbing other pirates. (All the crew have superb back stories starting in their early childhood.) It's emotionally powerful and shows what a deep writer Eiichiro Oda can be--this isn't just another adventure yarn.  Her foster mother Bellemere is a great character for someone who only appears briefly!

I've started watching the new anime Cardcaptor Sakura.  It's from the "magical girls" genre, and the title character is a schoolgirl, about four years younger than Sailor Moon, who has to retake spirits from these tarot-like cards that escaped from an occult book she carelessly opened. (In the first two episodes she recovers Flight and Shadow.) Her sidekick is the spirit Kero, who looks like a teddy bear with wings. She also has a rich girlfriend who makes her fancy costumes to fit her function--remember the Strawberry Shortcake dolls?--and videotapes her heroics. (After each episode Kero spends a couple of minutes displaying Sakura's clothes!)

It's a pretty cute show altogether.  I'm impressed by its low-key tone in comparison to more conventional slam-bang anime, well suited to younger kids. (I remember how my mother admired the low-key tone of Captain Kangaroo.) I have a feeling I'll be checking out quite a few anime before this crisis is over...

Strangely, I have a feeling that overall society may actually benefit from this forced solitude!  Maybe what we most need is time for greater self-reflection and more learning.

Sunday, March 22, 2020

Time passes...

The lockdown continues. (Though today I walked out to Hillcrest Park just to get out of the house.)

I finished re-watching the first season of Sailor Moon.  What a powerful finale! The Sailor Scouts found out that in the past Sailor Moon's mother, Queen Serenity of the Moon, had been in a fight with destructive Queen Beryl so she'd sacrificed her own life to give all their spirits new lives in today's world. Then they all went to the Negaverse entrance near the North Pole or somewhere, and all the other Sailor Scouts sacrificed their lives protecting Sailor Moon, then Queen Beryl ordered the brainwashed Tuxedo Mask to kill Sailor Moon, but her Star Locket brought back his memories and he ended up sacrificing his life to save her, then Sailor Moon had her final confrontation with Queen Beryl and felt the spirits of the dead Sailor Scouts and combined forces with them and managed to destroy Queen Beryl and save the earth, sacrificing her own life to do so.... Then there was some "transmigration" by which all of them went back to the lives they had before finding out their superhero destinies, with only their cat mentors remembering what had happened--until the next season...

I've started watching the first season of One Piece again, this time the dubbed version for variety's sake.  Captain Buggy rocks! (Even if he does owe a little something to the Joker...) Just saw a great episode involving a dog still guarding his late master's pet food store.

Biden supporters are exasperating!  If Sanders continues to campaign, either Doddering Joe will manage to survive without being "undermined," or he won't.  If he does, they have nothing to worry about. But if he can't make it through a full primary campaign without being undermined, he's the wrong choice for the nomination. (One purpose of a primary campaign is to show who's the wrong choice, right?) Then he's the one they should be pressuring to drop out instead of Sanders.  In demanding that the campaign be cut short, they're actually showing how little faith they have in his "electability."

Tuesday, March 17, 2020

What I learned from Sailor Mercury

"In reality it was just what is usually seen in the houses of people with moderate means who want to appear rich, and therefore succeed only in resembling others like themselves:  there are damasks, dark wood, plants, rugs, dull and polished bronzes--all the things people of a certain class have in order to resemble other people of that class"--"Death of Ivan Ilyich"

Tonight was going to be the Short Story Meetup, but it got cancelled at the last minute.  And I'd spent the morning and afternoon reading the whole of "The Death of Ivan Ilyich"!  Oh, well--I'm proud that I could read a novella of almost 70 pages that quickly. (It was a revelation, oddly life-affirming.)

What with the coronavirus, I'm being a homebody just now--not that I'm not often a homebody at normal times.  The local No Frills supermarket had a queue of people waiting to get in! (They've run out of bananas.) I've been feeling a bit under the weather, so I went out and got some huge pomelo grapefruit on Sunday morning when it was less crowded.

I heard about all the untruths Doddering Joe was telling Bernie in their debate last night.  A liar says things he knows aren't true; a bullshitter doesn't care whether he's telling the truth!  I think Biden's a bullshitter, just like Reagan. (Rob Reiner Tweeted, "Sanders is an advocate.  Biden is a President." I commented, "Sanders is a leader.  Biden is a weasel.") Hard to believe they haven't delayed tomorrow's voting in the current emergency...

Which brings me to Sailor Moon, which I've been binge-watching again.  The other day I started the second half of the first season, when the show's quality sharply increased.  The turning point came when Molly fell in love with Neflyte the Negaverse villain, standing in front of him to protect him from Sailor Moon's tiara, and Neflyte died protecting her, achieving a certain redemption.  Now I'm watching the Zoisite arc, which is about how seven innocent people--six people and one cat, actually--have the spirits of Negaverse warriors inside them and nasty Zoisite uses the Star Crystal to awaken the spirits and turn the innocents into monsters for Sailor Moon to restore with her Moon Healing Sceptre.  

If Neflyte is the best first-season villain, Zoisite is a strong second.  (In addition, she was female in the manga, male in the Japanese anime, and female again in the DiC English dub!) When the monsters come forth, they also produce seven Rainbow Crystals for the Sailor Scouts, the Negaverse and rescuer Tuxedo Mask to fight over.  These are "filler" episodes that weren't in the manga, but like the second season's Doom Tree arc, it's darn good filler! (The seven McGuffins device, of course, was also used in Dragon Ball.)

Of particular interest to me just now was the third episode, "Mercury's Mental Match." (It's one of the ones animated by Masahiro Ando, where the characters look a bit different with more rounded faces, the sort of difference us Moonies notice.) It involves Greg, a schoolboy with psychic powers that he used to ace school exams just ahead of mousy brainiac Amy, whom he has a crush on and wants to meet. Amy, of course is also Sailor Mercury, the one with the defensive Bubbles Blast.  But he's also one of the crystal carriers, and with his psychic powers he knows that Zoisite wants to awaken his inner monster! 

There's a scene where Greg is talking to Sailor Mercury, who he knows is Amy because he's psychic, and asks her to promise to destroy him when he becomes a monster because he doesn't want to become a Negaverse tool.  But Mercury urges him not to give up but  to fight against the evil.  Then Zoisite comes along and turns him into a monster, but even in monster form he manages to turn against his master!  Sailor Moon heals him, and the Sailor Scouts even get his crystal. (Zoisite gets it back in the "Tuxedo Melvin" episode, but that's another story...)

I was thinking about this because of the Sanders-Biden debate.  Progressive Democrats mustn't give up; they have to keep fighting for Sanders and not succumb to being Biden's tool!

Friday, March 13, 2020

THE VERTIGO YEARS

I've finished the books on the French Revolution and started Philipp Blom's The Vertigo Years:  Change and Culture in the West, 1900-1914.  It's a fascinating look at the world just before the Great War broke out, the historical period that interests me the most. (Moira's already read it.) I'm reading it for next month's History Meetup.

And tonight was this month's History Meetup, where we discussed the French Revolution.  Ten people came despite the coronavirus scare.  The Dora Keogh people were nice enough to give us a room in the back!  It had a rather low overhead light, so I felt like we were a group of revolutionaries getting together to plot an insurrection or something... (I've been watching that series about Trotsky on Netflix.)

Yes, I am depressed about the Democratic primaries.  If any Democrat can blow the November election, it's Doddering Joe!  Democrats who vote to nominate him aren't just idiots but cowards.  They're already bringing back the "Vote Blue No Matter Who!" mantra, which is preaching to the choir. "It doesn't matter who we're nominating, just vote for him unanimously!" isn't the best way to win over the "swing voters" you need in the general election.  It's a signal that you've already lost the argument.  It's demoralizing that the Democratic Party keeps repeating the same mistakes year after year...

I misplaced that book of Walt Whitman poems I bought a couple of months ago, so I had to buy a new copy at Chapters-Indigo near Eglinton Station.  Someone in the book club wanted me to post a scan of the cover so she could get the same copy, but in the end I could only describe it.

Last Saturday afternoon I met Maria and Sergey at Demetre's near Chester Station for a crepe.  I'm always glad to meet them.

On Youtube I saw the first video in the Nostalgia Critic series, posted over a decade ago.  It's a scream! (See above.)


Friday, March 06, 2020

Classic Book Club

Tuesday John P. and I visited the Royal Ontario Museum.  Like the AGO, John has a membership so he got me in free, including the exhibit of award-winning wildlife photographs. (My favorites were one of a buffalo in the winter and one that a Hungarian kid took that looked like an impressionist painting!) Afterward he treated me to dinner at the Museum Tavern, where I had fish and chips.

Wednesday I had a huge headache! (Must have been the weather, of course.) That night I saw a Kirov Ballet production of Tchaikovsky's Swan Lake on Youtube.  I hadn't seen the whole thing before, except for Matthew Bourne's strange '90s version with the male swans.  But I had seen the second act when I was 12 and we saw a touring Bolshoi Ballet in Wolfville, N.S., just after Mikhail Baryshnikov had defected from them in Toronto.  Mother thought they looked demoralized...

Today my Classic Book Club discussed Steppenwolf.  Only three people showed up (including me), and there was a private event at Dora Keogh so we had to move to Zaza Espresso a few blocks away.  But we had an interesting enough conversation!


I've been watching more of Doug Walker's Nostalgia Critic movie pans on Youtube. (He's reviewed all four Care Bears videos!) The other day I saw his attack on the misconceived live-action version of Dr. Seuss' The Cat in the Hat, which reminded me of a horror movie. Among Doug's costars, Rachel Teitz was really funny playing a little girl.

Monday, March 02, 2020

Putty, putty

I spotted a mouse in my room, so we've made a big effort to clean it, including ripping out the carpeting in my closet.  I was stuffing steel wool into the gap at the bottom of the walls, but put in too much and ran out.  You haven't lived till you've stuffed steel wool into those gaps!  Some British writer in The Guardian was wondering why anyone would want to live to 100, but there are always these new experiences...

Yesterday was the Mathematicians Meetup.  We were discussing Paul Lockhart's The Mathematician's Lament, and I wondered how his way of teaching math would work in practice. (Educational reform has been full of ideas that looked great on paper but didn't work well in practice...)

Speaking of theory vs. practice, I just finished the Beginner's Guide book about the French Revolution and started the Short Introduction by William Doyle. (Why read just one book about it?)

Today we were pouring liquid concrete on the kitchen floor to level it out.  My job was to provide water from the bathroom in four-litre batches to mix the concrete. (The kitchen water was out of commission, of course.) It reminded me of this episode of M*A*S*H where they were laying a concrete floor and Father Mulcahy was singing the song "Cement mixer, putty, putty." I didn't watch the show much but I do remember that scene!

I've been binge-watching the anime Sailor Moon again.  I like the moments where she uses the first-season lunar pen to transform herself into an adult appearance. (Like in the pic above.) Some of us grownups feel like kids in disguise--I'm typing this with the Julia doll in my lap...

Thursday, February 27, 2020

More STEPPENWOLF quotes

I finished Steppenwolf Sunday, then started reading Peter Davies' The French Revolution:  A Beginner's Guide for my History Meetup.

Monday I had dinner with Maria and Sergey at Yorkville Crepes.  Then we went to the Yorkville Library for the Short Story Meetup, where we discussed three more Chekhov stories: "In the Ravine" (which made my jaw drop!), "The Bishop" and "The Lady With the Dog." John S. was there and gave me a copy of the Frank Norris novel McTeague, upon which Erich Von Stroheim's silent classic Greed is based!  Another book that I hope to read someday...

Donald came over for his birthday and I bought a cake at Loblaw's.  I grabbed the first vanilla cake I saw, and its expiry date was tomorrow so I got it half-price--I hope that doesn't make me a cheapskate.

Can't resist posting some more Steppenwolf quotes!

"Now and again I have expressed the opinion that every nation, and even every person, would do better, instead of rocking himself to sleep with political catchwords about war guilt, to ask himself how far his own fault and negligences and evil tendencies are guilty of the war and all the other wrongs of the world, and that therein lies the only possible means of avoiding the next war.  They don't forgive me that, for, of course, they are themselves all guiltless, the Kaiser, the generals, the trade magnates, the politicians, the papers.  Not one of them has the least thing to blame himself for.  Not one has any guilt.  One might believe that everything was for the best, even though a few million men lie under the ground. And mind you, Hermine, even though such abusive articles cannot annoy me any longer, they often sadden me all the same.  Two-thirds of my countrymen read this kind of newspaper, read things written in this tone every morning and every night, are every day worked up and admonished and incited, and robbed of their peace of mind and better feelings by them, and the end and aim of it all is to have the war over again, the next war that draws nearer and nearer, and it will be a good deal more horrible than the last.  All that is perfectly clear and simple.  Any one could comprehend it and reach the same conclusion after a moment's reflection.  But nobody wants to.  Nobody wants to avoid the next war, nobody wants to spare himself and his children the next holocaust if this be the cost."

"You have a picture of life within you, a faith, a challenge, and you were ready for deeds and sufferings and sacrifices, and then you became aware  by degrees that the world asked no deeds and no sacrifices of you whatever, and that life is no poem of heroism with heroic parts to play and so on, but a comfortable room where people are quite content with eating and drinking, coffee and knitting, cards and wireless.  And whoever wants more and has got it in him--the heroic and the beautiful, and the reverence for the great poets or for the saints--is a fool and a Don Quixote.  Good."

"The communion of the saints, in earlier times it was set by painters in a golden heaven, shining, beautiful and full of peace, and it is nothing else but what I meant a moment ago when I called it eternity.  It is there we belong.  There is our home.  It is that which our heart strives for.  And for that reason, Steppenwolf, we long for death....  Ah, Harry, we have to stumble through so much dirt and humbug before we reach home.  And we have no one to guide us.  Our only guide is our homesickness."

"For the first time I understood Goethe's laughter, the laughter of the immortals.  It was a laughter without an object.  It was simply light and lucidity.  It was that which is left over when a true man has passed through all the sufferings, vices, mistakes, passions and misunderstandings of men and got through to eternity and the world of space.  And eternity was nothing else than the redemption of time, its return to innocence, so to speak, and its transformation again into space."

"I was bathed in sweet joy like a rippling pool.  And yet that was only the shell.  Within all was significant and tense with fate, and while, love-lost and tender, I was busied with the little sweet appealing things of love and sank apparently without a care in the caress of happiness, I was conscious all the while in my heart how my fate raced on at breakneck speed, racing and chasing like a frightened horse, straight for the precipitous abyss, spurred on by dread and longing to the consummation of death."

"In the mood between joy and fear that fate and parting imposed on me just now, all the stations and shrines of meditation in my life's pilgrimage caught once more that gleam of pain and beauty that comes from things past; and so too had the little tavern, thick with smoke, among whose patrons I had lately been numbered and whose primitive opiate of a bottle of cheap wine had lately heartened me enough to spend one more night in my lonely bed and to endure life for one more day."

At the movies: "I saw the prophet and his awestruck people pass through to the other side, and behind them I saw the war chariots of Pharaoh come into sight and the Egyptians stop and start on the brink of the sea, and then, when they ventured courageously on, I saw the mountainous waters close over the heads of Pharaoh in all the splendour of his gold trappings and over all his chariots and all his men, recalling, as I saw it, Handel's wonderful duet for two basses in which this event is magnificently sung.  I saw Moses, further, climbing Sinai, a gloomy hero in a gloomy wilderness of rocks, and I looked on as Jehovah in the midst of storm and thunder and lightning imparted the Ten Commandments to him, while his worthless people set up the golden calf at the foot of the mountain and gave themselves over to somewhat roisterous celebrations.  I found it so strange and incredible to be looking on at all this, to be seeing the sacred writ, with its heroes and its wonders, the source in our childhood of the first dawning suspicion of another world than this, presented for money before a grateful public that sat quietly eating the provisions brought with it from home.  A nice little picture, indeed, picked up by chance in the huge wholesale clearance of culture in these days!"

"As a marionette whose thread the operator has let go for a moment wakes to new life after a brief paralysis of death and coma and once more plays its lively part, so did I at this jerk of the magic thread throw myself with the elasticity and eagerness of youth into the tumult from which I had just retreated in the listlessness and weariness of elderly years.  Never did sinner show more haste to get to hell."

"There aren't any police and such like any more.  We can choose, Dora.  Either we stay quietly up here and shoot down every car that tries to pass, or else we can take a car and drive off in it and let others shoot at us. It's all the same which side we take.  I'm for staying here."

"When you listen to radio you are a witness of the everlasting war between idea and appearance, between time and eternity, between the human and the divine.  Exactly, my dear sir, as the radio for ten minutes together projects the most lovely music without regard into the most impossible places, into respectable drawing rooms and attics and into the midst of chattering, guzzling, yawning and sleeping listeners, and exactly as it strips this music of its sensuous beauty, spoils and scratches and beslimes it and yet cannot altogether destroy its spirit, just so does life, the so-called reality, deal with the sublime picture-play of the world and make a hurly-burly of it."

Saturday, February 22, 2020

THE WAR LORD


"The pious," she went on meditatively, "after all know most about this.  That is why they set up the saints and what they call the communion of the saints.  The saints, these are the true men, the younger brothers of the Saviour.  We are with them all our lives long in every good deed, in every brave thought, in every love.  The communion of the saints, in earlier times it was set by painters in a golden heaven, shining, beautiful and full of peace, and it is nothing else but what I meant a moment ago when I called it eternity.  It is the kingdom on the other side of time and appearances.  It is there we belong.  There is our home.  It is that which our heart strives for.  And for that reason, Steppenwolf, we long for death.  There you will find your Goethe again and Novalis and Mozart, and I my saints, Christopher, Philip of Neri and all.  There are many saints who at first were sinners.  Even sin can be a way to saintliness, sin and vice.  You will laugh at me, but I often think that even my friend Pablo might be a saint in hiding.  Ah, Harry, we have to stumble through so much dirt and humbug before we reach home.  And we have no one to guide us.  Our only guide is our homesickness"--Steppenwolf

Yesterday John P. took me on a tour of the Art Gallery of Ontario.  I've been there before, but not with someone who had so much to say about the art there. He has more artistic opinions than I do!  He even treated me to dinner at the AGO restaurant afterward. (I had a cornish hen and churro funnel cake.)

That evening I saw Franklin J. Schaffner's The War Lord (for the second time), screening the video for the History Meetup.  It's one of the more intelligent movies about feudalism, with Charlton Heston well cast as the antihero lead.

Last week at the History Meetup, where we discussed Thailand, Bohdan gave me a fancy coffee-table book about the architectural marvels of the world!


Monday, February 17, 2020

STEPPENWOLF quotes

Steppenwolf is an amazing novel, really original!  Here are some quotes from the  Basil Creighton translation I'm reading:

"When the lecturer ascended the platform and began his address, many of his hearers, who had expected a sort of prophet, were disappointed by his rather dapper appearance and conceited air.  And when he proceeded, by way of thanking them for their attendance in such numbers, the Steppenwolf threw me a quick look, a look which criticized both the words and the speaker of them--an unforgettable and frightful look which spoke volumes!  It was a look that did not simply criticize the lecturer, annihilating the famous man with its delicate but crushing irony.  That was the least of it.  It was more sad than ironical; it was indeed utterly and hopelessly sad; it conveyed a quiet despair, born partly of conviction, partly of a mode of thought which had become habitual with him.  This despair of his not only unmasked the conceited lecturer and dismissed with its irony the matter at hand, the expectant attitude of the public, the somewhat presumptuous title under with the lecture was announced--no, the Steppenwolf's look pierced our whole epoch, its whole overwrought activity, the whole surge and strife, the whole vanity, the whole superficial play of a shallow, opinionated intellectuality.  And alas! the look went still deeper, went far below the faults, defects and hopelessness of our time, our intellect, our culture alone.  It went right to the heart of all humanity, it bespoke eloquently in a single second the whole meaning of man's life.  It said: 'See what monkeys we are!  Look, such is man!' and at once all renown, all intelligence, all the attainments of the spirit, all progress towards the sublime, the great and the enduring in man fell away and became a monkey's trick!'"

"Every age, every culture, every custom and tradition has its own character, its own weakness and its own strength, its beauties and ugliness; accepts certain sufferings as matters of course, puts up patiently with certain evils.  Human life is reduced to real suffering, to hell, only when two ages, two cultures and religions overlap."

"When I have neither pleasure nor pain and have ben breathing for a while the lukewarm insipid air of these so-called good and tolerable days, I feel so bad in my childish soul that I smash my moldering lyre of thanksgiving in the face of the slumbering god of contentment and would rather feel the very devil burn in my than this warmth of a well-heated room.  A wild longing for strong emotions and sensations seethes in me, a rage against this toneless, flat, normal and sterile life.  I have a mad impulse to smash something, a warehouse, perhaps, or a cathedral, or myself, to commit outrages, to pull off the wigs of a few revered idols, to provide a few rebellious schoolboys with the longed-for ticket to Hamburg, or to stand one or two representatives of the established order on their heads."

On hearing jazz: "I stood for a moment on the scent, smelling this shrill and blood-raw music, sniffing the atmosphere of the hall angrily, and hankering after it a little too.  One half of this music, the melody, was all pomade and sugar and sentimentality.  The other half was savage, temperamental and vigorous.  Yet the two went artlessly well together and made a whole.  It was the music of decline.  There must have been such music in Rome under the later Emperors.  Compared with Bach and Mozart and real music it was, naturally, a miserable affair; but so was all our art, all our thought, all our makeshift culture in comparison with real culture.  The music was at least sincere, unashamedly primitive and childishly happy.  There was something of the Negro in it, and something of the American, who with all his strength seems so boyishly fresh and childlike to us Europeans.  Was Europe to become the same?  Was it on the way already?"

"Now, whoever thinks that he knows the Steppenwolf and that he can imagine to himself his lamentably divided life is nevertheless in error.  He does not know all by a long way.  He does not know that, as there is no rule without an exception and as one sinner may under certain circumstances be dearer to God than ninety and nine righteous persons, with Harry too there were now and then exceptions and strokes of good luck, and that he could breathe and think and feel sometimes as the wolf, sometimes as the man, clearly and without confusion of the two; and even on very rare occasions, they made peace and lived for one another in such fashion that not merely did one keep watch whilst the other slept but each strengthened and confirmed the other."

"For it appears to be an inborn and imperative need of all men to regard the self as a unit.  However often and however grievously this illusion is shattered, it always mends again.  The judge who sits over the murderer and looks into his face, and at one moment recognizes all the emotions and potentialities and possibilities of the murderer in his own soul and hears the murderer's voice as his own, is at the next moment one and indivisible as the judge, and scuttles back into the shell of his cultivated self and does his duty and condemns the murderer to death.  And if ever the suspicions of their manifold being dawns upon men of unusual powers and of unusually delicate perceptions, so that, as all genius must, they break through the illusion of the unity of the personality and perceive that the self is made up of a bundle of selves, they have only to say so and at once the majority puts them under lock and key, calls science to aid, establishes schizomania and protects humanity from the necessity of hearing the cry of truth from the lips of these unfortunate persons."

"His coffin was set down before a simple hole in the ground, and I saw the clergyman and the other vultures and functionaries of a burial establishment going through their performances, to which they endeavoured to give all the appearance of great ceremony and sorrow with such effect that they outdid themselves and from pure acting they got caught in their own lies and ended by being comic....  Nor could anyone be talked into a pious frame of mind; and when the clergyman addressed the company repeatedly as 'dear fellow-Christians,' all the silent faces of these shop people and master bakers and their wives were turned down in embarrassment and expressed nothing but the wish that this uncomfortable function might soon be over."

On a professor: "He believes in the studies whose servant he is; he believes in the value of mere knowledge and its acquisition, because he believes in progress and evolution.  He has not been through the war, nor is he acquainted with the shattering of the foundations of thought by Einstein (that, thinks he, only concerns the mathematicians). He sees nothing of the preparations for the next war that are going on all round him.  He hates Jews and Communists.  He is a good, unthinking, happy child, who takes himself seriously; and, in fact, he is much to be envied."

"He was holding a newspaper to which he subscribed, an organ of the militarist and jingoist party, and after shaking hands he pointed to it and commented on a paragraph about a namesake of mine--a publicist called Haller, a bad fellow and a rotten patriot--who had been making fun of the Kaiser and expressing the view that his own country was no less responsible for the outbreak of the war than the enemy nations.  There was a man for you!  The editor had given him his deserts and put him in the pillory.  However, when the professor saw that I was not interested, we passed to other topics, and the possibility that this horrid fellow might be sitting in front of them did not even remotely occur to either of them.  Yet so it was, I myself was that horrid fellow.  Well, why make a fuss and upset people?  I laughed to myself, but gave up all hope now of a pleasant evening."

On a picture of Goethe: "'Let us hope,' said I, 'that Goethe did not really look like this.  This conceited air of nobility, the great man ogling the distinguished company, and beneath the manly exterior what a world of charming sentimentality!  Certainly, there is much to be said against him.  I have a good deal against his venerable pomposity myself.  But to represent him like this--no, that is going too far.'"

"Before this in any case I didn't see eye to eye with the professor.  Like nearly all professors, he is a great patriot, and during the war did his bit in the way of deceiving the public, with the best intentions, of course.  I, however, am opposed to war.  But that's all one."

Monday, February 10, 2020

STEPPENWOLF

"He who has known the other days, the angry ones of gout attacks, or those with that wicked headache rooted behind the eyeballs that casts a spell on every nerve of eye and ear with a fiendish delight in torture, or soul-destroying, evil days of inward vacancy and despair, when, on this distracted earth, sucked dry by the vampires of finance, the world of men and of so-called culture grins back at us with the lying, vulgar, brazen glamour of a Fair and dogs us with the persistence of an emetic, and when all is concentrated and focused to the last pitch of the intolerable upon your own sick self--he who has known these days of hell may be content indeed with normal half-and-half days like today"--Steppenwolf

My birthday feast was delayed a day because someone was out shopping late, but I didn't mind.

Friday we got a new oven, refrigerator and dishwasher from Costco.  Now I'll be able to bake gingerbread again! We'll also be able to make scalloped potatoes and ham, and chicken curry.

Saturday afternoon I went to the Articled Meetup at the Reference Library.  We were discussing the corona virus, which didn't really interest me but the group looks promising.

At the singing group Sunday, we sang the Broadway show tune "You Gotta Have Heart."

Today I made my bed, only to find out that someone had earlier scattered some odour-eating baking soda on the mattress, so I had to unmake it to remove the stuff! (I should have procrastinated like I usually do...)

Today I finally finished the Thai history book. (In 1978 their top export was tapioca!) So I started reading Hermann Hesse's psychological novel Steppenwolf, translated from German.  I've read thirty-odd pages and it's pretty crazy!

Thursday, February 06, 2020

My 58th

Today was my 58th birthday.  Maria had a surprise for me--we got a guided tour of the Royal Canadian Military Institute!  Among other things, we got to see the seat the Red Baron was sitting in when he got shot down.  Sergei, Malcolm, Krystyna and John S. were also there.  Afterward, Debi joined us for lunch at the Midi bistro, where they put a candle on my profiteroles.  Maria gave me an old copy of the collected poems of Lord Tennyson. (I'd been reciting "The Eagle" by heart.) And John S. has given me a gift subscription to the US history magazine American Heritage.

Elizabeth, whom I had lunch with last week, gave me a cute birthday card.  She has nice handwriting (a dying art, of course).

Sunday I went to the singing group's rehearsal, which was going to start over an hour earlier, but when I got there it turned out that it had been cancelled because of the snow! (The email came just after I left, of course.) Oh well, I was glad to get out of the house.

Monday night I went to the Short Story Meetup.  We discussed three more Chekhov stories: "The Student," "Anna on the Neck" and "The House With the Mezzanine."

The Thai history book is getting more interesting!  Chulalungkorn was King around the same time as Meiji's Japan and embarked on a similar program of modernization and developing a nation-state, but while Meiji inherited from the shoguns a bureaucracy that made top-down changes easier, Chulalungkorn (also known by the shorter name Rama V) had to work more gradually and wait for many in the old order to retire or die.  Which makes his achievements all the more impressive!

On Youtube I've been watching "Musical Hell," a channel with reviews of bad musical movies.  I have to admit I have a soft spot for Xanadu, even the silly animated scene!

Sunday, February 02, 2020

1917

"When he crossed the river by the ferry boat and afterwards, mounting the hill, looked at his village and towards the west where the cold purple sunset lay a narrow streak of light, he thought that truth and beauty which had guided human life there in the garden and in the yard of the high priest had continued without interruption to this day, and had evidently always been the chief thing in human life and in all earthly life, indeed; and the feeling of youth, health, vigour--he was only twenty-two--and the inexpressible sweet expectation of happiness, of unknown mysterious happiness, took possession of him little by little, and life seemed to him enchanting, marvellous, and full of lofty meaning"--Anton Chekhov, "The Student"

Wednesday I got my health card renewed at the depot in the basement of the Canadian Tire near Rosedale station, with just a week to spare. (I was surprised how quickly it went.) But I was careless and stopped for lunch at Tim Horton's because I wanted to try their strawberry confetti doughnut.  So I was late getting home, which made things inconvenient for Moira because she had somewhere to go and John was late arriving and we can't leave Father alone in the house while he's unwell. Next time I'll be more careful!

Thursday night I saw Sam Mendes' 1917 at the Market Square with the History Meetup. (They've installed posh new seats there.) It was gripping and believable, and the one-shot gimmick didn't distract.  I didn't recognize Colin Firth as the general--he isn't the sort of actor who always plays himself!  Nice photography by Roger Deakins.

Yesterday I had lunch with Elizabeth from my memoir group at Les Moulins Lafayette. (I had a ham and cheese croissant and a briochette with jam.) Elizabeth is very interesting:  she's over 80 and survived the Polish Occupation!  To this day she won't wear black leather coats (part of the SS uniform) and the smell of burnt wood bothers her. Compared to people like her, Canadians like me don't know much about life.

I finished translating that Korean book about the engineer Jang Yongshil.  We have a book of short stories in their original French somewhere around, so maybe I'll try translating them.

Moira just finished reading The Peanuts Papers, a book of essays about the comic strip Peanuts, and now I'm going to look at it.

I hope I'm through the slow part of the Thailand history book.  I'm getting close to the part about King Mongkut, later played by Yul Brynner.

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

Robinson Crusoe

Last Tuesday I spoke to my shrink and got the meds business straightened out, and now I'm taking them again.  One of the side effects of the gap was that I had more intense dreams:  in one I was in the movie Titanic, and it was a nightmare not because the ship was going to sink but because I was in the world of movie cliches! (The working class has better parties etc.)

Thursday my book club discussed Robinson Crusoe.  I know I'm not the best person for leading discussions--my forte is planning and organizing--and I wish someone else would take the lead.

Sunday the singing group had to meet at Carolyn's house.  We tried "Donald, Where's Your Troosers?" and the round "White Coral Bells."

I've been watching the first season of Mad Men, but it doesn't hold up that well.  The stories are a bit "hit and miss," like with The Sopranos.  But Alison Brie as Trudy Campbell is very pretty! (The show had a lot of pretty actresses.)

I'm typing this with that plush Julia doll in my lap.  So sue me!

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

LITTLE WOMEN

"The day will come when you wish you had done a little evil to do a greater good!"--Kingdom of Heaven

Publisher: "If the main character is a girl, make sure that she is married by the end.  Or dead.  Either way"--Little Women

Thursday I saw Ridley Scott's Kingdom of Heaven (for the second time) at the History Meetup screening.  Despite being on a smaller screen, it definitely improves with second viewing--the extra hour in the director's cut was very valuable.  I recall it had some intelligence, but this time I noticed it was very intelligent and well-cast.  Eva Green was gorgeous, though I had to wonder how the Queen of a city as sunny as Jerusalem kept her skin so pale. (She should play an 18th-century lady, like Marisa Berenson in Barry Lyndon!)

Saturday one of my Meetups was going to eat at the Mandarin Restaurant near Finch & Dufferin.  I got there, but the event had been cancelled because of snowy weather.  Oh well, I ate there anyway and it was a fun adventure getting there and back. (First time I've gone as far north on the Spadina line as Finch West--someday I'll have to visit my old York University campus again!) The Mandarin salad bar is slipping: they no longer have shredded carrots and corn.

Sunday we had lunch with Puitak and Gordon at King Noodle for the Chinese New Year's.  My singing group did that song, "Something to sing about, this land of hours." (I remember how in Grade 5 we had the Canadian geography textbook titled This Land of Hours, then we used the same textbook in Grade 8!  Just like using the same French textbook in the fifth, sixth and seventh grades...)

Tonight we finally saw Greta Gerwig's Little Women at the Scotiabank. (I had to move it from the Varsity at the last minute because the screening time there had changed.) It takes a highly unconventional, non-linear narrative approach, and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who hasn't read Louisa May Alcott's book or at least seen an earlier adaptation, unless you like confusion. It was hard for me to get into, but about an hour into it something clicked, and I was watching a wonderful movie!  It even brought me to tears at times.  

It was a handsome production, but believably so, not like some movies where the beauty of the sets and costumes distracts from the story.  There were a lot of superb moments, like when Marmee is preparing a package for a soldier fighting in the Civil War and impulsively adds her own scarf! (Some people are more good than wise...) In that mother role, Laura Dern reminded me why she's one of my favorite actresses!  I also liked Chris Cooper's cameo as the rich neighbour.

Half a dozen people came to the event. We talked about the movie afterward at a bubble tea restaurant where I ordered a pretty good kumquat lemonade with coconut pudding topping.  There were trailers for a live-action Mulan and a new version of Jane Austen's Emma, and we may go to see both of them!

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Short stories Meetup

"I look at this life and see the arrogance and the idleness of the strong, the ignorance and bestiality of the weak, the horrible poverty everywhere, overcrowding, drunkenness, hypocrisy, falsehood. . . .  Meanwhile in all the houses, all the streets, there is peace; out of fifty thousand people who live in our town there is not one to kick against it all. Think of the people who go to the market for food: during the day they eat; at night they sleep, talk nonsense, marry, grow old, piously follow their dead to the cemetery; one never sees or hears those who suffer, and all the horror of life goes on somewhere behind the scenes. Everything is quiet, peaceful, and against it all there is only the silent protest of statistics; so many go mad, so many gallons are drunk, so many children die of starvation. . . .  And such a state of things is obviously what we want; apparently a happy man only feels so because the unhappy bear their burden in silence, but for which happiness would be impossible. It is a general hypnosis. Every happy man should have some one with a little hammer at his door to knock and remind him that there are unhappy people, and that, however happy he may be, life will sooner or later show its claws, and some misfortune will befall him ­­ illness, poverty, loss, and then no one will see or hear him, just as he now neither sees nor hears others. But there is no man with a hammer, and the happy go on living, just a little fluttered with the petty cares of every day, like an aspen ­tree in the wind ­­ and everything is all right"--Chekhov, "Gooseberries"

I've had to go without my anti-depressants for a week or two until I meet my shrink next week and we settle the paperwork.  Oddly, in the short term I'm feeling a bit happier! (The same thing happened the last time I had a significant interruption.) And I've been thinking of lots of things to write about here...

Last Friday I finished Robinson Crusoe and borrowed David K. Wyatt's Thailand:  A Short History from the Northern District library, which I'm reading for the History Meetup. Thailand's history is very complex:  the nation-state emerged gradually over centuries!  The 19th century is the period that interests me most, when it was stuck between the Chinese, British, French, Dutch and Spanish empires. (This was before the Americans seized the Philippines and replaced the Spanish in the region.) The Thais have a long history of surviving difficult neighbours--imagine having the Khmer Rouge on your border!

Last night was the first event of the Short Stories Meetup I just joined.  We met upstairs at Panera's Bakery and discussed three Chekhov stories: "In Exile," "The Black Monk" and "Rothschild's Fiddle." (I also said a bit about the same author's "Gooseberries.") We'll be doing more Chekhov next month, but I have about a million ideas about what we can do in the future...

Chekhov's big concern, it seems to me, is the human soul. ("In Exile" reminded me of my difficult school years...) One difficult thing about my meds gap is that it sometimes causes me to read slowly.  "In Exile" and "The Black Monk" I read online because I couldn't find them in the library, and both stories took me hours.  Part of the problem was from reading them online:  it's easier to focus on my reading when I have the words on paper.  I was afraid I wouldn't finish in time, but I managed to read "Rothschild's Fiddle" on the last day.  In that case, I found it in a collection of Moira's with an introduction by Civil War historian Shelby Foote, of all people.

Also yesterday, I visited my friend Bev for the first time in ages.  I brought Julia along, and she was a hit!

I lost the sheet on which I had the dues-paying History Meetup members write their name, so I guess I'll have to have an honour system instead.

Last night, I got home from the Meetup, went to bed at 9:30 or so, and slept around the clock.  I often go to sleep at 7:00 or so, but I usually wake up after a few hours and it's a long time before I get back to sleep. (No doubt going without the meds had something to do with it.) I hope I can continue this way--being awake past midnight is a sin!

Friday, January 10, 2020

History Meetup

"This frequently gave me occasion to observe, and that with wonder, that however it had pleas'd God, in his Providence, and in the government of the works of his hands, to take from so great a part of the world of his creatures, the best uses to which their faculties, and the powers of their souls are adapted; yet that he has bestow'd upon them the same powers, the same reason, the same affections, the same sentiments of kindness and obligation, the same passions and resentments of wrongs; the same sense of gratitude, sincerity, fidelity, and all the capacities of doing good, and receiving good, that he has given to us; and that when he pleases to offer to them occasions of exerting these, they are as ready, nay, more ready to apply them to the right uses for which they were bestow'd, than we are"--Robinson Crusoe

"Are there any left?" "Too many!"--The Rise of Skywalker

Yesterday, at the Yorkdale, I saw the ninth Star Wars movie, The Rise of Skywalker. (It was an afternoon screening, and hardly anyone was there.) Like the previous ones, it was competent but not really necessary.

Today I went to see my psychiatrist, but I'd forgotten that my appointment was the day before! (I'm so used to going on Thursdays that it didn't register with me that this one was on Wednesday...) I had some paperwork, but it'll have to wait a couple of weeks till my new appointment.

Also today, a doctor came to see Father so we had to make everything clean. (My eyes just aren't as sharp about noticing dust as the others in the family!)

Tonight was the first History Meetup of the new year, which I'm now doing on Thursdays. (The subject was the Crusades.) There were a dozen people paying the $5 annual dues, so I'm flush with cash just now.  I brought my Julia doll to serve as the talking stone, and she seemed popular.

I'm almost finished Robinson Crusoe.

Monday, January 06, 2020

New year

"A little after noon I found the sea very calm, and the tyde ebb'd so far out, that I could come within a quarter of a mile of the ship; and here I found a fresh renewing of my grief, for I saw evidently, that if we had kept on board, we had been all safe, that is to say, we had all got safe on shore, and I had not been so miserable as to be left entirely destitute of all comfort and company, as I now was; this forced tears from my eyes again, but as there was little relief in that, I resolv'd, if possible, to get to the ship, so I pull'd off my clothes, for the weather was hot to extremity, and took the water, but when I came to the ship, my difficulty was still greater to know how to get on board, for as she lay a ground, and high out of the water, there was nothing within my reach to lay hold of, I swam round her twice, and the second time I spy'd a small piece of a rope, which I wonder'd I did not see at first, hang down by the fore-chains so low, as that with great difficulty I got hold of it, and by the help of that rope, got up into the fore-castle of the ship, here I found that the ship was bulg'd, and had a great deal of water in her hold, but that she lay so on the side of a bank of hard sand, or rather earth, that her stern lay lifted up upon the bank, and her head low almost to the water; by this means all her quarter was free, and all that was in that part was dry; for you may be sure my first work was to search and to see what was spoil'd and what was free; and first I found that all the ship's provisions were dry and untouch'd by the water, and being very well dispos'd to eat, I went to the bread-room and fill'd my pockets with bisket, and eat it as I went about other things, for I had no time to lose; I also found some rum in the great cabin, of which I took a large dram, and which I had indeed need enough of to spirit me for what was before me: Now I wanted nothing but a boat to furnish my self with many things which I foresaw would be very necessary to me"--Robinson Crusoe (notice the continuity error?)

John got another dumpster and we've been filling it with wood, drywall and cement from the house renovation, as well as some junk we've had lying around for ages.  It's almost full!

Thursday night I was going to see Little Women with the History Meetup, but when I got there--45 minutes before the start time--it was already sold out! (It must be a big hit.) I met Aru and suggested we see Cats or A Hidden Life instead, but she'd seen both of them already!  So we went to Tim Hortons and gabbed for a while. (If we'd waited a few minutes more, a third person could have joined us...)

My father gave me $500 for Christmas.  Friday I went to Indigo Books at Eaton Centre and bought a stuffed toy:  Julia the autistic Muppet! (She'll make a good talking stone for my History Meetup.) Yesterday I went to The Beguiling and bought some comics.  I got Nonnonba, Shigeru Mizuki's graphic memoir of how yokai spirit legends influenced his childhood and the rest of his life; a book about the works of manga and anime master Hayao Miyazaki; and some Classics Illustrated comics.

I finished moving to the lists all the Tweeters with over 20,000 followers who haven't followed me back. (My lists now have about 1500 Tweeters between them!) Now I'm removing from my follow list those with the lowest re-following rates.  I'm now following less than 4600, while almost 3000 are following me.

I've started translating that new children's book about Jang Yongshil. (I'm tempted to buy the old book online!) And we've started watching Mad Men again on Netflix.  Sterling & Cooper reminds me of Never-Neverland...